We all know that when you’re in a rush, horses will take longer. You’re in a rush to get your horse on the float, and get home, that’s when your horse is likely to not want to go on. Your energy is frenetic and desperate which causes your horse to feel threatened by your sharp forceful body language or he thinks there must be something worth stressing about if it is making you act in a stressful way. Or you haven’t given enough time previously to show the horse what to do or that the float is not a scary place, or that they can’t get away with refusing to try. When we go out to work or interact with our horses, we need to allow for time. Short cuts and cheating will only mask issues. If you don’t allow for time, your progress will be slow and you will create holes in your foundation.
So how long to you give to your horse per training session or per exercise or for yourself? AS LONG AS IT TAKES. As long as it takes for understanding, learning and relaxation. I would generally allow 3 hours for a session, but if the horse needs longer, I’m all in. Because I know that if I can help the horse understand, learn something and then relax, that I will have to spend less time on it tomorrow. And you can guarantee that if you allow more time, you probably won’t need it.
Lesson for Horse: Stand still exercise (Park)
When you get on your horse neither of you should be in a hurry to go anywhere. If your horse walks off as soon as you get on or even while you’re getting on, then you’ve probably been letting him/her take over or you haven’t given enough time to just waiting to get you and your horse settled and relaxed before you start your session.
Step 1. The Cue: Put your reins on your horses neck and just place your hand on them so that you are ready to use them if you need to, but that you are not holding them up, or tight. Just like when your leading your horse, or a even a dog, when there is tension down the line they will pick up on that. Typically when you are nervous or stressed or about to ask your horse to move or do something, what do you do? Pick up your reins. So when you get on and hold your reins tight, you are cuing the horse that we are about to move or there is something to get tense about. We can use the reins on the neck as a cue to Park/stand still and get relaxed.
Step 2. Mount your horse: If your horse walks off before you have the chance to get on, step off your horse and take a hold of your closest rein. Bend your horses head in towards you. If your horse moves, follow his hindquarters and keep him in a small circle until the horse wants to stop. It may take a while, but don’t stop and commit to following your horse until he gives you the correct answer and stops. Once he stops you can put your reins back on his neck and try to mount again. If he walks off again repeat the process until as many times as you need to until you can get on. Trust that the horse will get bored of trying the same thing and eventually offer the correct answer. We are telling the horse here that if he doesn’t want to stand still and wants to work for free, that’s fine, but he is only making it hard for himself. Once he realises this and the fact that you are not going away or changing the question then he/she will give up trying to take over. The horse learns that if he chooses his idea of moving, it will be hard work, if he follows your idea, he gets to chill out and be left alone and relax.
Step 3. Park: Once you are on, now you will park. It is good practice to park for 1-5 minutes but longer may be more beneficial depending on the horse. If your horse is lazy, then you have the exercise down and he is happy to stand around doing nothing. Until he gets bored? Or your horse has been taught to be impatient and doesn’t want to stand still, so you will want to practice LOTS of standing around. But what to do if your horse walks off while your in the saddle. The same thing as we did on the ground. You will bend your horses head around (either side), lock your hand on your outer thigh (for consistency) and wait for him to stop. Once he stops you will let his head go and see if he will stand still. If he still wants to leave, you will repeat this process over and over again until he figures out that it is easier to stand still. Once the horse is standing still, put your reins back on the horses neck and relax. Sit back and ease into the moment. Your calm casual energy will translate to your horse, as long as you’re not in any rush to get things done or be other places. Enjoy the 5 minutes you also get to just chill out.
Step 4. Relaxed: Once your horse is relaxed and not looking like they are about to leave anytime soon, only then can you start your riding session. You can use your new ‘park’ tool as a reward for when your horse does something you like. Let him park, put your reins down and relax. This way you will practice letting your horse relax between learning things, give him a chance to bank what you’ve just taught him and showing him that doing work isn’t all about hard work. And show him that you are a reliable leader that he can trust to be calm and clear.
Lesson For Human: Be still and give yourself time.
Time is one of our most cherished values and allocating time can be very challenging. However sometimes a lot more can be achieved in slowing down. If you find yourself running late a lot or not having enough time to get things done, maybe it’s because you need to have a break from what your doing to refresh yourself or you need to readjust your priorities. You may be able to kill two birds with one stone and get your down time while you teach your horse how to have down time, but if not, then you need to allow yourself time to get off the treadmill and relax, re-energise and re-prioritise. If you’re not giving yourself time, it's very hard to give your horse, or much of anything else your time and full self.
Step 1. Acknowledgment. Life is not just about giving your time to everything and everyone else. If you are not energised and able to function in an easy, calm, clear manor, then you may need to stop and seriously consider the levels of physical, emotional and mental stress you are accumulating by not allocating time for yourself. You need to acknowledge that you must prioritise your needs. Unlike horses where they have us to help them learn, you are the only one that can choose this for yourself and it starts with acknowledgement.
Step 2. Engage: Call up work or make the necessary arrangements to be able to take some time for yourself. This could be for 15 mins or 5 days. Like our horses, you need to take as much time as you need in order to genuinely feel relaxed. Take this time for yourself to reflect and learn. Like our horses once again, this is a time to slow down, bank what we have learned, acknowledge our achievements and reward ourselves. Yes there are going to be things that you probably consider more important than taking time to relax, but won’t your job and people around you benefit more from your re-energised, relaxed state? Being clear and relaxed will set an example of ease instead of stress which will help others more.
Step 3. Relax: Once you have finally relaxed and are not thinking about all the things you have to do, but are feeling calm, clear, re-energised, motivated, only then are you truly ready to get back to business, take on heavier tasks and other priorities. The same as taking the time to teach our horses to relax, the more you practice giving yourself time to relax, the less time you will need to get in a state of ease and the funny thing is that the more time you make to prioritise yourself and your needs, the more time you’ll suddenly have to share around.
Allow time for your horse. Allow time for the process. Allow time for you.
Leah x
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